Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Clothing makes you annoyingly healthy.

You know what gets to me? Women in exercise clothing. You know, the whole Adidas tank top, hair back in a pony tail, jogging tights or shorts, joggers/runners/whatever you want to call them, and the occasional sunnies or iPod? Yeah them. I can't stand them. There's something about them that just drives me crazy. Here are 3 reasons why.

Reason 1. The "I just stepped out of a Special K" vibe.
They have it. I don't know where it comes from, but it's there. That natural feeling where you just know they love health food. They probably had ultra-low-fat muesli (the untoasted stuff), a 1.25L bottle of water and a handful of nuts for breakfast, and are now trying to work off the carbs from it. It's like 'I eat healthy, and live healthy. I am the physical manifestation of healthy. Watch me go!' I just don't like it.

Reason 2. The "You just don't understand how focused I need to be to jog right now. Please don't interrupt and smile".
It's like getting to the end of this jog is what determines whether or not you live until you're 80. Slowing down shortens your life span or something. Women in exercise clothing just have that "I can't possibly imagine pausing to be polite" face. I don't care about pace or whatever, it's common courtesy. It's as though smiling is going to completely mess up your legs. And it's only women in special exercise clothing. Cheers to the ladies in good old trackpants and a t-shirt.

Reason 3. Just everything else.
Who needs jogging clothes? It's just like "Hell yeah have I got a killer body! Look! The unattainable! Go home and cry, you're taking up my sidewalk". It's just frustrating. At least others have the decency to wear t-shirts and trackies so as to not make everyone feel like a mere mortal in contrast to their goddesssness. Ugh. Seeing people in exercise clothes just reminds me of what I should be doing, but couldn't be bothered to do. And it's just plain annoying! Special clothes for a casual jog? I think some people take being healthy way too seriously. Either that or I don't take it seriously enough. Meh.


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