Monday, July 13, 2009

Final Thoughts

Well I’m leaving today. So excited. 6 months of craziness going through my head all comes down to today. Or Tuesday. It comes down to this general point. It’s 8:34 as I START this. Leaving at around 9:15. Mannnnn it’s gonna be intense. I’m going to the Solomon Island. Eeep!

I decided that I would write down my final thoughts before I leave. I have so many though, so this is going to most definitely be a very everywhere sort of post. I’m not going anywhere in particular and I’m bound to go on a tangent, then return, then go on another one to a different place etc.

Well firstly I’m crazy nervous. If I could explain how nervous I am, it would be crazy. I have ideas of what it’s going to be like, but I don’t know, and wont know, until I get there. I know two things. 1) it’s going to be hot. 2) I’m going to be uncomfortable. I’m leaving my comfort zone here in Cooma. That’s a key factor to my nervousness. I don’t deal well with discomfort, so this is going to be a challenge.

As a bit of insight, we’re going to be going to 3 schools and running a kids program with them. We have an option of snorkelling on one of the days. We’re also having a culture day, where they’re teaching us about them instead of the other way around.

Being the pessimist that I am, I’m really not looking forward to the short showers, discomfort, mosquitoes, strange food, humidity, heat, mental/emotional/spiritual/physical struggles, exercise, and of course more bugs.

However, I am really excited about seeing God work in people, learning about a new culture, going through experiences with my team that I’ll never go through with anyone else, having new experiences in general, learning new things, having my perspective on things revamped, looking at life through someone else’s eyes, growing in God, depending on God, watching others and their faith grow, the plane trip over the islands, the Emma blond moments I’ll get to see, the new sides of people I’ll get to see, my nutella packs, gaining patience, taking photos, taking photos, taking photos, being in photos, taking photos, (yes that was deliberate), laughing, smiling, loving, being, growing, seeing, sharing, caring, learning, giving, showing, dancing, and getting back home to share it with everyone! Wow that was one hell of a sentence. I suppose it was a list so it doesn’t really count.

I’ve heard multiple people tell me that this trip is going to change me. That I wont be the same when I get back. I’m nervous about that too. I don’t know what I’ll be like. I’m reasonably confident it will be ok, but still it’s a scary thought. I’ve taken a solid 14 years to get this way, I don’t want it to change in 10 days. Oh well. I’m sure it’s going to be heaps of fun.

The other thing that I’ve noticed is people’s lack of originality. The conversations go as follows: “so when are you leaving?”
“How do you feel about it?”
“Are you excited about the trip?”
“Yeah I guess so”
“Well your dad’s going, you’ll be fine”
… Why is that all people have to say? I don’t suppose they have a chance to say much more on it now. It’s now 8:53. Wow I take a long time to write stuff. I guess I’m just organizing my thoughts.

It’s funny, it’s 10 days but I make it sound like I’m leaving forever, or dying, or am coming to the end of a long journey.
In it’s own way it IS like a “journey”. lol. Clare’s first “journey”. What a weird word. Journey. It looks like it should be spelled jerny. Tehee. Classic.
Anyways! I look at it as if it’s been some kind of adventure. All those meetings etc. It’s just been so changing. I don’t think anyone really knows exactly how we’re going to work things, but we’ll see what happens. And as the preparation ends, the actual trip begins. I mean, maybe it’s like Kung-Fu Panda. Maybe we’ve been going through all this training which feels like we’ve been learning etc, and now at last we have to face what we’ve been training for. Which in itself will probably be more training for life.

I’m really very mostly excited about being with God. I need it/want it so much. He’s just amazing and I honestly have no idea what surprises he’s bringing, but they’re going to be awesome I’m sure.

Saying goodbye to people has been weird. I feel so very lonesome and sad about it, but because everyone else is staying here it’s sort of like “well it’s only 10 days” while I’m thinking “It’s a whole 10 days!”. I have photos of everyone though, so I’ll be ok. I hope. Gotta remember to pray for me cause this is going to be hard work.

And lastly I think I should actually SAY goodbye. Love you lovelies. See, here I go again. You’re sitting here and in 10 days it’s not going to matter too much, but I’m like “BWAAAAHHH”. Well at least grant me my “BWAAAAHHH”ness. Nobody is allowed to move, get sick, or die while I’m away. I want everyone to take care of themselves. I’ll be praying for you all. =]

At last it’s 9:03am. Leaving soon. *nervous twitch* wish me luck!
God Bless!

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