Monday, March 23, 2009


Well I’m watching Hercule Poirot. Everyone loves a good suspense/mystery. You know why? Because it’s a gamble for us. We love a risk. Of course, it’s not actually a gamble for us as such - unless we’re involved in the mystery or are the particular reason to it’s existence. Otherwise it’s all just a lot of fun. We sit down and all through it we’re guessing at who it is. We choose our favourite as someone to be evil, and try to stick with them. Then it’s all about what happens during the rest of the storyline. As time progresses it occurs to us that we guessed the wrong person, and the story goes on and the guesses become more intense. Just before the climax, someone works it out. Everyone has a huge dispute over who it was, why, and how it happened. At last, they find out “who dunnit” when the brilliant investigator or evil person reveals the entire workings of the whole plot. People who guessed incorrectly are shamed by whoever gets it right.

Makes sense. Lots of fun.

But what people don’t seem to understand, is why we let ourselves watch thrillers. Allow me to introduce you to a wonderful thing called adrenaline. Asking why we watch that kind of thing is like asking why we jump out of planes or go on roller coasters. We get a thrill. Hence the word “thriller”. And I suppose we enjoy that little bit of knowledge that our life isn’t collapsing in on us due to killer undead people or something.

So even thought you’re sitting here thinking that I am possibly about to launch into something about our psychological workings and everything else you could imagine to go along with it, I actually plan to disappoint you, by simply talking about how much I really think there should be some sort of invention for the sake of us who are not good with suspense.

If you’ve ever seen a thriller with me, you’d know how very very very weak my nerves are. It’s partly psychological, in that I allow myself to be freaked. I do have the ability to be “whatever” about it. But that requires a lot of talking and most people don’t appreciate it when I do that. As if I don’t seem to stop already. Back on topic. I think it highly unfair that there isn’t some sort of device, specifically designed for biting or attacking in some way during a moment of “OH MA GOODNISS!”. Alternatively, there should be an invention, allowing the user to scream/talk into it without distracting everyone else from their adrenaline dose. This would also be very useful to carry around when taking part in dangerous activities, arguing with parents, or perhaps in hospitals to take away all the annoying noise associated with whatever painful happening someone is involved in.

Therefore, I ask that someone please make this. It will be used. A lot better than a pillow or a bottle. And I’ll shutup in movies! That would be miraculous don’t you think. Make two, so we can give one to Happi as well as myself *cough*Quantum of Solace*cough*.

God bless you lovables!

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